Whats the glycemic index on semen?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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