either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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