what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
