ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
