I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
