You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
