I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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