My brain says no but my pants say off.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Randomize
