i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
