youre lurking in front of me
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
