Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
