the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
