you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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