dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
