i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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