OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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