I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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