I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
