dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
one might say we're banned from that church
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
