OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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