She said her name was "party"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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