Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i will never coherently bang her
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
