I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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