I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Buhtt sex?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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