Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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