Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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