i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
