I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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