ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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