Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
