i permit you to call me
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
