The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
