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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
