I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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