I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
