My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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