I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My dad just said "fuck circus"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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