it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
