He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I am available for nakedness
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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