what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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