Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
