Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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