We won't sleep together?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
