that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
why do cheetos always look like penises
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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