like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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