She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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