shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
