Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
