i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
