happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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