Well douche your snatch and let's go!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
