How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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